Dikephobia - Fear of justice.
I do not make thies up.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
This Is A Must Try
Man: Is there a problem Officer?
Officer: Sir, you were speeding.
Man: Oh I see. Officer: Can I see your licence please?
Man: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Man: Lost it 4 times for drink driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Man: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Man: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Man: Yes, and I killed the owner.
Officer: You what?
Man: She's in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer2: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! The man steps out of his vehicle.
Man: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Man: Murdered the owner?
Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please.
The man opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer2: Is this your car sir?
Man: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer2: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car and murdered the owner.
Man: Bet you the lying idiot told you I was speeding, too!
Officer: Sir, you were speeding.
Man: Oh I see. Officer: Can I see your licence please?
Man: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Man: Lost it 4 times for drink driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Man: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Man: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Man: Yes, and I killed the owner.
Officer: You what?
Man: She's in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer2: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! The man steps out of his vehicle.
Man: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Man: Murdered the owner?
Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please.
The man opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer2: Is this your car sir?
Man: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer2: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car and murdered the owner.
Man: Bet you the lying idiot told you I was speeding, too!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Today's Phobia
Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.
This one is more than appropriate.
And no I do not suffer from this, in case some are thing it.
(See Ghetto Girls And Ugly People)
This one is more than appropriate.
And no I do not suffer from this, in case some are thing it.
(See Ghetto Girls And Ugly People)
Thought This Was Fascinating
There is not too much that gets me fired up. I am normally a calm and mellow person. I do hate to admit it, but whenever I talk about something that boils my blood, people tend to burst in to laughter halfway through my story. I just don’t know why. It is a pretty common irritation, fashion faux pas. I know I am not the fashion police but there are certain things that people just should not wear. It is almost comical when the wrong top, shoes, belt or socks pulls down an entire ensemble.
There are the classic leave it to the pros colors that you just may not mix, such as pink and orange, blue and green, black and blue, and my favorite, rainbow. I find it really unfortunate when someone steps out their house and honestly feels that they look like a cover model while wearing every possible color they could. Some times mornings are rough and things do not go as planned, so it is always safe to go with an outfit almost the same color or something that you think is boring. You can never go wrong with something such as a black or white top with black or kaki pants as long as you must remember to were black socks with black shoes or it is ruined.
The classic outfit bring down is non other than, the white sock, shivers. White socks should never be worn unless you absolutely cannot avoid it or you are wearing sneakers. I have seen this one way to many times. It is vary disappointing to catch gentlemen wherein a suite, nice tie, well pressed shirt and (Oh No!) white socks. You can ask any corporate professional or even lady and they will all tell you the same thing “Its not good.”
Then of course there are accessories or furnishings for men. These little accent pieces can become the focal point of any bad outfit. Many times these are the first things people notice so that they can negate a good out fit. This is why the experts say, “A belt, bracelet, watch, necklace, or set of earrings can make or break an out fit.” If corporate woman is caught wherein all black with those sexy black stilettos, a delicate pearl necklace and on of those $1.99 star wars talking watches from Burger King she immediately becomes the talk of the office in the second worst way possible. But lets say my fun loving boss who wears kakis and button down shirts with the different company logos came in one day wherein Hawaiian gear, no one would think ill of him. He is having fun that is, as long as he is not wherein black socks and sandals.
Many people think they can dress like the stars but have you seen a lot of the junk the Black Eyed Peas where or that white puffy thing Aretha Franklin wore to an awards show three years ago. Stick to the basics and you cannot go wrong, you just might even get a compliment.
There are the classic leave it to the pros colors that you just may not mix, such as pink and orange, blue and green, black and blue, and my favorite, rainbow. I find it really unfortunate when someone steps out their house and honestly feels that they look like a cover model while wearing every possible color they could. Some times mornings are rough and things do not go as planned, so it is always safe to go with an outfit almost the same color or something that you think is boring. You can never go wrong with something such as a black or white top with black or kaki pants as long as you must remember to were black socks with black shoes or it is ruined.
The classic outfit bring down is non other than, the white sock, shivers. White socks should never be worn unless you absolutely cannot avoid it or you are wearing sneakers. I have seen this one way to many times. It is vary disappointing to catch gentlemen wherein a suite, nice tie, well pressed shirt and (Oh No!) white socks. You can ask any corporate professional or even lady and they will all tell you the same thing “Its not good.”
Then of course there are accessories or furnishings for men. These little accent pieces can become the focal point of any bad outfit. Many times these are the first things people notice so that they can negate a good out fit. This is why the experts say, “A belt, bracelet, watch, necklace, or set of earrings can make or break an out fit.” If corporate woman is caught wherein all black with those sexy black stilettos, a delicate pearl necklace and on of those $1.99 star wars talking watches from Burger King she immediately becomes the talk of the office in the second worst way possible. But lets say my fun loving boss who wears kakis and button down shirts with the different company logos came in one day wherein Hawaiian gear, no one would think ill of him. He is having fun that is, as long as he is not wherein black socks and sandals.
Many people think they can dress like the stars but have you seen a lot of the junk the Black Eyed Peas where or that white puffy thing Aretha Franklin wore to an awards show three years ago. Stick to the basics and you cannot go wrong, you just might even get a compliment.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)