There are many words to describe me. I have been called funny, good looking, charming, playful, serious and even creative. For the longest time I never believed any of them, I thought I was average all around. I thought I was like everyone else my grades reflected it and the way I felt said I was.
It was in seventh grade that I meet a woman who tried her best to prove that I was not like most children. Sr. Rosemary was the one who helped me realize that I liked public speaking. I had a chance to meet people who had influence in our neighborhood of Germantown as well as the Catholic Church and politics. After I had interesting conversations with these people I was later told that they found me to be exactly as Sr. Rosemary described me. I heard it from their mouth and later from Sr. Rosemary, but their was one little problem holding me Back, my home life was not a pleasant one.
My stepfather and I did not get along at all. He was not the man I had wanted my mother to marry, things changed drastically after the wedding. I can remember suffering from depression for a year because of it. It was thanks to my faith in God that I got over it and have never returned to those types of thoughts and emotions. For eight years though I had to deal with being mistreated and watching a man whom I felt was not my father and a poor excuse of a husband treat my mother like she was less than an outstanding woman.
It was not until February of 2004 that my life turned upside down and changed. One night I made a terrible mistake that showed my mother just how much I was hurting and disliked who she married. So we moved out the end of that week. From that point on I spent time being angry with God, my mother, my friends and even my sister. I forgot who I was and ended up loosing a lot. First I lost my place at St. Joe’s, my job and contact with Sr. Rosemary. It seamed when I gained one thing I lost another.
We eventually got a new house but my stepfather came over a lot and I had to struggle with how to handle this totally bizarre situation while trying to adjust to suburban living. Everything was new. In late august I found a new job and in early September I enrolled in Academy Park high school. I was starting, more than my sister and mother, from scratch I had to make new friends learn a new neighborhood and worse of all rediscover who I was.
For the longest time I could not figure out who I wanted to be or who I once was or even what I wanted to do with my life. I was a nobody; I went from liking gospel and classical music to liking Christian alternative and rock. I changed from wanting to be a doctor and minister to advertising or doctor, and as for my faith I did not know if I was angry with God or if I wanted him to forgive me. Every other part of my life I was just pretending to care. I wanted to run away, but where? I wanted to live with some one else, but who. I wanted to know why I had changed from being Victor S. Bethea, II to “Mr. I Don’t Know”
I figured I just needed time and everything would fall into place. As of February 7, 2005 I knew. I was Victor S. Bethea, II just different. Although I like new music and live in the suburbs I know who I am and what I want to do with my life. I still want six kids three girls and three boys, I still love God and want to preach if that is what he wants me to do, I still have all my old friends and I know that I am a handsome, charming young adult ready to take the world by storm. I may not know for sure what career I want but I at least I have it narrowed down to two.this is me Get use to it
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